HOW TO HANDLE THE PAIN OF BETRAYAL
What do you do when you have been nothing but loyal, but the king decides to take your life? That is the question that David faced when King Saul decided to consider David his enemy.
Sometimes in life a friend will betray you, a family member will hurt you, or a co-worker will unfairly blame you. These events deeply injure us and leave us with wounds that are difficult to heal.
What do you do when this happens to you?
The story of David is powerful for multiple reasons. One of the most inspirational actions of David was his response to his king who wanted him dead.
In 1 Samuel 24, David has been running for his life from King Saul for years. It has taken him to far away countries, small towns, forests, deserts, and caves. He has had to pretend to be insane, survive assassination attempts, and start over with nothing in the wilderness. He is the Lord’s anointed, but it sure doesn’t look like it.
One day his enemy, an evil king who has been rejected by God and is seeking to kill David and his men, walks right into the cave they are hiding in. It feels like God’s provision. The men said, “This is the day” that God has invited you to kill your enemy.
But David refuses to kill Saul. And he will not allow his soldiers to kill him either. Instead, he lets Saul go.
Then David utters some fascinating words for those of us who have been hurt by people we trusted.
Then David went out of the cave and called out to Saul, “My lord the king!” When Saul looked behind him, David bowed down and prostrated himself with his face to the ground. He said to Saul, “Why do you listen when men say, ‘David is bent on harming you’? This day you have seen with your own eyes how the Lord delivered you into my hands in the cave. Some urged me to kill you, but I spared you; I said, ‘I will not lay my hand on my lord, because he is the Lord’s anointed.’ See, my father, look at this piece of your robe in my hand! I cut off the corner of your robe but did not kill you. See that there is nothing in my hand to indicate that I am guilty of wrongdoing or rebellion. I have not wronged you, but you are hunting me down to take my life. May the Lord judge between you and me. And may the Lord avenge the wrongs you have done to me, but my hand will not touch you. 1 Samuel 24:8-12
David gives us a masterclass in responding to the Sauls in our own lives. And most importantly, David passes the test that God gave to him that day.
This is the response to evil that God wants you to declare with your own heart toward those who hurt you:
“You hurt me. It wasn’t fair. But I will not hurt you in return.”
"I will let the Lord judge between you and me. If the Lord chooses to avenge, so be it.”
“I refuse to do evil in response to the evil you have done to me.”
The response most people give is reactive. You did that, so I will do this. You said that, so I will say this. You hurt me, so I will hurt you.
But David shows us a better way. And he does so because he knows how impactful his response will be on his own heart.
This is the truth that we often overlook, what responding with hate and resentment will do inside of us.
If I do evil in response to evil, then I will become the very thing that I hate.
We think we are getting even, but we are actually giving in.
I think that is why the Apostle Paul said to the early church,
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:17-21
Most people throw a spear right back at the one who aimed at them. David could have easily done so.
But followers of Jesus are different. We do not repay anyone evil for evil. We do not take revenge. We love our enemies.
In fact, we repay evil with good.
And along the way, we will protect our own hearts from becoming like the people who hurt us.