THE WEIGHT OF HONOR
Recently, my parents asked if I could come by and help them move something. It turned out to be some things! They had received a delivery of five jugs of water. The problem was these jugs had been dropped off outside their garage. My parents needed them inside. The first was easy. The second, no big deal. The fifth took some extra work. Forty-two pounds of water plus the ten-pound glass container. Yes, a total of fifty-three pounds. Per jug.
It was heavy.
Your Parents Are Heavy.
In Exodus 20:12, God tells us to, “Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”
The Hebrew word translated “honor” in that commandment is kabeid.
Kabeid literally means ... heavy.
I know “Heavy your father and mother” sounds odd, but in ancient times something heavy, like gold, was considered valuable and so was to be treasured. In fact, kabeid is also the word in the Old Testament used to describe the glory of God.
When you honor someone, you give them extra priority and attention. You give them weight in your life. The weightier they are in your estimation, the more honor you will give them. That’s why when a president, spiritual leader, or famous person walks into the room, you stop what you’re doing, you focus, you pay attention. You are giving them “the weight of honor.”
The Commandment
The fifth of the Ten Commandments, to honor your father and mother, is a commandment to give your parents WEIGHT in your life.
God tells us, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12). There’s that word – kabeid. We are to give “special weight” to our parents.
That Old Testament commandment is echoed in the New Testament, in Ephesians 6:1-4, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise — ‘so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’”
I like that it says, “for this is right.” There are so many times in life when we have to discern what is right versus wrong, what we should do in a certain situation. This is not one of those. Honoring your parents is always right.
One reason it’s right is because our parents – in the high majority of cases – deserve our honor. But even if they don’t, we honor God when we honor our parents. Honoring our parents teaches and trains us to honor God.
Living It
I read a story that exemplifies honoring your parents. Jessica Rocha’s parents emigrated from Mexico and made many sacrifices to give their daughter a better life. Jessica knew their hard work and perseverance inspired her own. So, when she graduated from UC San Diego, she took a photo in her graduation gown with her parents, in the same fields where they had worked as migrant laborers.
I can only imagine how her parents felt about the gratitude she was expressing through the picture, through which she gave them the weight of honor.
I read another story – this one in the Bible – that highlights honoring your parents. Jesus is on the cross. He’s dying. It’s getting more difficult to breathe. He realizes His time is short.
Who do you suppose Jesus was thinking of in that moment?
His mother.
“Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.” (John 19:25-27).
Jesus knew He wouldn’t be able to care for his mother in her old age, so he cared for her when He could. In His most challenging moment, he gave his mother the weight of honor.
What would it look like for you to give your parents the weight of honor?
Who Is the 5th Commandment For?
Many think the 5th Commandment is primarily for children, but it’s actually for everyone. Let me break it down by life stage:
The 5th commandment is for children. God wants children to obey their parents, to listen to what they say and speak respectfully to them. This is a training ground for a child’s relationship with God.
The 5th commandment is for teenagers. The teen years can be a challenging season with parents. Teens often think their parents don’t get it, and they may not, but God chose those parents. Teenagers can honor their parents by accepting their advice, speaking well of them with their friends, and expressing gratitude.
The 5th commandment is for young adults. Young adults are finally free from their parent’s oversight, but they can honor them by leaning in, seeking their parents’ counsel and blessing.
The 5th commandment is for adults. Many scholars believe this command was primarily given not to children, but to adults with older parents. This is where honor starts to include care. (Sometimes including carrying very heavy water jugs.) Even after their parents pass, adults can continue to honor them with memories and stories.
The 5th commandment is for parents. How can you, as the parent who should be honored, honor this command? By striving to be an honorable person! By making it easy for your children to honor you.
Depending on your stage of life, giving honor will look different, but no matter where you’re at in life ... it’s always right.
TAKE ACTION
God wants you to give your parents the weight of honor. So, what is one specific way you can honor your parents this week? Perhaps it’s through ... a phone call, writing a heart-felt note of gratitude, doing an act of service for them, choosing to forgive something you’ve been holding a grudge about, or telling someone a positive memory you have of them.
Whatever it is, and no matter how heavy it might be, you will be glad you did.
Watch the message “The Weight of Honor” by Brad D. Jenkins at Anthem Church. YouTube
*If this has been helpful, please send me a message at brad@bradjenkins.me and let me know. And please help me by sharing this post with others who could benefit from it. My writing aims to help people enjoy a vibrant relationship with Jesus, and it is an honor to be on this journey with you.
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