HOW CAN I UNDERSTAND GOD’S WILL WHEN MAKING BIG DECISIONS?

Have you ever been at a crossroads in life—heart pounding, mind racing—and found yourself asking, “God, what do You want me to do?”

You’re not alone.

When we surveyed our church about the biggest questions people were asking, this one stood out above all the rest: How can I understand God’s will when making big decisions?

Big decisions have a way of grabbing our attention. They involve stakes that affect our future, our family, our finances, our calling. 

Maybe you’re trying to decide whether to take a new job, move to a new city, start a relationship—or end one. Maybe you’re wondering how to support aging parents, how to parent your kids, or how to move forward when the future feels foggy.

Whatever your situation, you probably feel the weight of it. But here’s the good news:

God is not trying to hide His will from you. He’s inviting you to walk with Him in it.

Discernment > Decision-Making

If you’re a follower of Jesus, the goal isn’t just to make good decisions. The goal is discernment—learning to understand what God desires, and aligning your heart and actions with it.

Proverbs 3:5-6 gives us the foundation:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

That’s more than a feel-good verse—it’s a call to trust deeper, submit fully, and walk by faith, not just logic. Because here’s the truth: your reasoning has limits. God’s wisdom doesn’t.

The Four Steps to Discerning God’s Will

When the decision is big or the situation is cloudy, Scripture and the lives of faithful believers point us to a four-step process. These aren’t formulas—but they are a framework for faithfulness.

Let’s walk through the four three-word phrases that can change the way you approach every major decision:

1. Pray for Indifference

Wait—indifference?

Yes. But not apathy. This is about spiritual indifference—a posture where the only thing that matters is God’s will.

“God, I want nothing more, nothing less, and nothing else but what You desire.”

We all have leanings. We hope God says yes to what’s already in our hearts. But if we want to truly hear from Him, we have to silence the inner bias that tries to sway the answer.

This is how Jesus prayed in Gethsemane: “Not my will, but yours be done.” 

It’s hard. But it’s holy.

Until you can say, “Lord, whatever You say, my answer is already yes,” you’ll always be tempted to confuse your preference for His plan.

2. Pray for Wisdom

Once your heart is surrendered, ask.

James 1:5 promises, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

Too often, we try to “figure it out” before we bring it to God. But the invitation of Scripture is to start with prayer—specifically, a request for divine wisdom.

God isn’t stingy with His guidance. He gives it generously to those who ask in faith.

So when you don’t know what to do next, get on your knees and say,

“God, I need Your wisdom. I trust You know better than I do.”

Then keep your Bible open. God’s wisdom often flows through His Word.

3. Listen in Silence

This one is countercultural. We live in a noisy world. Podcasts, texts, notifications, group chats… so much coming at us that we rarely sit in stillness before God.

But discernment requires it.

Elijah didn’t hear God in the wind, the earthquake, or the fire. He heard Him in a gentle whisper (1 Kings 19).

Once you’ve asked for wisdom, create space to listen.

Ask: What do I sense in my spirit? Is there peace or unrest about this direction?
Then, wait. And pay careful attention to what is going on inside of you. Peace is a good sign. Unrest is a red flag. 

Sometimes God speaks through a still conviction that won’t go away. Sometimes through a godly friend. Sometimes through an open or closed door. But if you never pause to listen, you’ll rush past what He’s trying to say.

Silence isn’t empty—it’s sacred.

4. Act in Faith

Eventually, a decision must be made. After surrendering your preferences, asking for wisdom, and listening with a quiet heart, it’s time to take a step.

Not perfectly. But obediently.

Faith doesn’t mean having every detail figured out. It means trusting that God will redirect you if you get off course.

The man who walks with God always reaches his destiny—even if the path isn’t always clear.

That’s because God isn’t just interested in the outcome of your decision. He’s forming your character along the way.

Sometimes faith looks like staying put. 

Sometimes it looks like stepping out. 

Either way, obedience is the win.

What If You Still Don’t Know?

Sometimes, even after all four steps, things still feel unclear. That’s okay. It might mean the timing isn’t right—or that God is using the waiting to shape something deeper in you.

In the meantime: keep walking in the light you do have. Stay rooted in God’s Word. Stay in community with His people. Stay faithful in prayer.

God’s will isn’t a tightrope you’re trying not to fall off. It’s a journey you walk with Him.

Take Action: Don’t Just Ask—Abide

Jesus said in John 15:5, “If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

So many of us want answers from God without intimacy with God. But the more you remain in Him, the more His voice becomes familiar. His leading becomes clearer. His will becomes your desire.

If you’re facing a big decision right now, start with these four steps:

• Pray for Indifference

• Pray for Wisdom

• Listen in Silence

• Act in Faith

And remember: God is not trying to hide His will from you. He’s inviting you to walk with Him in it. And He will show you, in His perfect timing, what you should do. 

Special Thanks

Some of the inspiration and language in this process comes from Ruth Haley Barton’s powerful book, Pursuing God’s Will Together: A Discernment Practice for Leadership Groups. Her insights on spiritual indifference and listening in silence have deeply impacted how I understand God’s will and walk through it with others.

*If this has been helpful, please send me a message at brad@bradjenkins.me and let me know. And please help me by sharing this post with others who could benefit from it. My writing aims to help people enjoy a vibrant relationship with Jesus, and it is an honor to be on this journey with you.

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